Difficulty Accepting Praise: Exploring the Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Worth

Accepting praise can be challenging for those who have a history of self-doubt and high empathy. Compliments often feel undeserved or uncomfortable. Growing up, I learned to see my mistakes more clearly than my successes; accomplishments were rarely acknowledged, while failures were often highlighted. This left an imprint: success didn’t feel like “mine” to own, while errors defined my self-worth. Today, accepting positive feedback feels unnatural, almost as if praise itself doesn’t belong to me.

The “Not Enough” Mindset

My childhood was marked by an absence of praise, especially from my father. In his own way, he may have loved me, but I can’t recall him ever praising or fully accepting me. His love felt tough, controlled, and filtered through expectations I rarely met. My mother, though loving, was limited by the environment he created. Our family life left little space for celebrating individuality or achievements.

One memory stands out: in high school, I scored 92% in a science class, my highest grade. I felt genuinely connected to the material for the first time. Yet despite the accomplishment, the response was less about celebration and more about shock. Family and friends seemed surprised, but I didn’t feel proud; I felt like a “mediocre” student who happened to get lucky. This experience, and others like it, reinforced a belief that success and praise weren’t “for me.” When someone compliments me now, that “not enough” mindset still resurfaces as a quiet, persistent inner voice.

Imposter Syndrome and Self-Worth

Imposter syndrome plays a huge role in my discomfort with praise. When I launched my company in 2013, stepping into my role as a professional photographer felt false. I hesitated to call myself a photographer because my primary income wasn’t yet from photography. Some people around me seemed to agree—I couldn’t be a “real” photographer without financial validation.

One mentor eventually helped reframe this perspective. They reminded me that being a photographer is about my mindset and approach, not just my income. Their words provided temporary relief, but imposter syndrome lingered. External criticism only intensified my self-doubt, and each critical remark seemed to confirm my internal fears. My shaky confidence struggled against these doubts; validation felt hollow because I was still seeking others’ approval to define my worth.

Learning to Internalize Positive Feedback

Learning to accept praise has been an intense journey for me, shaped by a complex relationship with trust and the motivations behind others’ words. In Japan, where affirmations and compliments are often layered in polite nuance, I struggle to feel that genuine feedback ever fully surfaces. This adds to a broader discomfort with praise, especially since affirmations—the ones many coaches recommend—don’t resonate with me. They often feel like something meant for people who come from “normal” backgrounds, who find it easier to embrace their own worth. Simple affirmations seem out of reach as if they’re trying to smooth over parts of me that words can’t quite fix.

I’ve found that genuine connections with others help soften this resistance to praise. Sometimes, within these connections, I can accept a compliment without suspicion or self-doubt, though a part of me still wonders if the bar for praise is set too low. Imposter syndrome often tempts me to question if I’m being manipulated, misled, or even pitied. These thoughts have been a barrier to sharing my experiences openly; I’m hesitant to trust that anything I share will be valued and respected the way I intend.

Journaling has been more helpful to me than affirmations. I write down not only the compliments but also the actions behind them, shifting my view from unearned praise to acknowledgement of my own journey. Practising a simple “thank you” has become a small way to accept kindness without needing to deflect or explain. Each time I can say “thank you” and mean it, I feel a little closer to believing that I’m worthy of acknowledgement, just as I am—no caveats, no conditions.

Conclusion

Learning to accept praise is still a work in progress. Now, I see each compliment as an invitation to recognize my own growth, to honor my journey rather than seeking a final measure of worth. Where I once valued myself only by what I could give, I’m slowly learning that worth isn’t bound to achievements or perfection. Accepting praise is becoming less about validation and more about appreciating the process—seeing value in my evolving self and the ongoing path I’m walking.