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Adult Life and Moving: Redefining Home Through Relocation and Self-Transformation

Updated: 4 days ago

Content Warning: This narrative discusses themes of relocation and personal transformation, which may evoke strong emotions for some readers.


Throughout my adult life, relocation has been a recurring theme, each move carrying its own lessons and challenges. Moving frequently throughout Japan—from the northern Tohoku region to the subtropical southern areas—taught me resilience, adaptability, and a broader understanding of what “home” truly means. Each transition was a chance to redefine my sense of self and reflect on the stability I’d long sought in childhood but was never able to find in one physical place.


Timeline of Major Moves


  • Moved to Japan: July 5, 2000

  • Furukawa, Ichinoseki, Tohoku: Worked here from July 2000 to July 2001 under a one-year contract.

  • British Hills, Fukushima: Employed from September 2001 to November 2002, with the benefit of paid vacation and overtime—rare in some contracts.

  • Hitachi Ltd, Hitachi, Ibaraki: Worked from November 2002 to October 2003 on a one-year contract.

  • Yokohama, Honmoku: Moved here in October 2003, staying until summer 2004.

  • Yokohama, Yamate: Purchased and lived in my own apartment from summer 2004 to winter 2007.

  • Reihoku, Amakusa, Kumamoto: Relocated in January 2008.

  • Hyuga, Miyazaki: Settled here from October 2009 to December 2013.

  • Built my own house in Hyuga, Miyazaki: Lived in this self-constructed home from July 2013 to December 2013.


Each of these locations represents a chapter in my journey of self-discovery, challenging me to adapt and grow. The act of relocating, sometimes on short notice, meant leaving behind the familiar and learning to create a life anew in each place.


Lessons Learned and Personal Transformations


1. Redefining Home as an Internal Concept

Moving from place to place highlighted that home isn’t a static location or a single physical space. My childhood taught me that physical spaces could be unreliable, a lesson that was reinforced as an adult. Through these moves, I learned that “home” is not tied to a hometown or an ancestral house but to where I am and the connections I build. In every new place, I realized more fully that I am my own home, carrying my identity, memories, and values with me.

  • Reflection: By building a home in Hyuga, Miyazaki, I was able to create a space that reflected my inner self, something I had longed for since childhood. This was more than a physical construction; it symbolized a safe haven I had always desired but couldn’t find in my early years. Finally feeling “at home” within myself became an emotional milestone.

2. Healing and Adaptability as Core Survival Skills

Frequent moves, whether by necessity or choice, required me to adapt quickly to new environments. Each transition was a chance to shed past layers of self-doubt, find new perspectives, and overcome the traumas that had shadowed my younger years. The unpredictability of moving taught me to let go of control—a lesson that had eluded me throughout childhood’s chaos and domestic instability.

  • Coping Technique: Practicing adaptability and open-mindedness helped me establish stability in each new location. I approached each move with a mindset of exploration and growth, rather than anxiety. Reflecting on these moves, I now see them as opportunities to let go of old traumas, envisioning each new home as a “fresh start.”

3. Embracing Solitude and Self-Companionship

Being alone in foreign settings taught me to be my own companion and to cultivate inner strength. This solitude wasn’t always easy, as it often resurfaced feelings of loneliness that I had experienced in childhood. However, it also allowed me to develop self-reliance, discovering that I didn’t need external validation to feel whole.

  • Healing Strategy: Practicing mindfulness and meditation became a daily ritual. These practices helped me sit with difficult emotions without judgment, allowing solitude to become a space of peace rather than discomfort. Building this internal sanctuary was a powerful step in recognizing that I am complete within myself.

4. Reframing Financial Independence and Stability

Growing up with financial insecurity, I had always viewed money as a double-edged sword—something essential yet fear-inducing. In adulthood, with each move and career change, I confronted financial instability again, reminding me of the fears I had around money as a child. Through these challenges, I learned to redefine financial stability on my own terms, creating budgets and building security through careful planning.

  • Practice: I established a habit of mindful spending and saving, not as a punishment or fear-based act, but as a way to create security and freedom. This approach transformed my relationship with money, helping me view it as a tool rather than a source of anxiety.

5. Letting Go of the Need for External Validation

Each new position and contract in Japan brought fresh experiences but also highlighted my internalized need for approval—a remnant from my childhood. Growing up in a chaotic environment, I often sought validation from those around me, hoping it would bring stability. However, the transient nature of these contracts and moves challenged me to focus less on external validation and more on intrinsic worth.

  • Reflection: By focusing on what brought me fulfilment rather than what would be impressive to others, I learned to cultivate self-acceptance. I released the habit of people-pleasing, recognizing that my worth is not defined by others’ opinions but by my own alignment with my values.


Lessons from Building My Own Home


Building my own home in Hyuga, Miyazaki, was a significant achievement—a symbol of the stability I had sought for years. This act of creating a physical space that reflected my identity was both empowering and healing. The process taught me that, while “home” is ultimately within, having a physical manifestation of this sense of self can be a source of deep grounding and satisfaction.

  • Personal Insight: Constructing my home was not only about creating a shelter but about claiming a part of myself that had been fragmented by past instability. This act of building represented my growth journey, a testament to the resilience and strength I had developed through each relocation and each challenge.


Moving Forward with Resilience and Acceptance


Looking back, I recognize that my journey through relocation and self-discovery was an ongoing process of creating and finding stability, both externally and internally. Each experience taught me to cultivate resilience and self-acceptance. Moving forward, I carry these lessons with me, understanding that home is ultimately where I am. This realization has brought me a sense of peace and freedom, unbound by the physical locations I inhabit.

By redefining home and shedding past narratives of unworthiness and self-doubt, I have finally found stability within myself. I now understand that each relocation was part of a larger process of personal growth, helping me to reclaim my identity and build a life that honours my inner strength and resilience.


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