Part 2: Practical Approaches to Honoring Needs and Building Self-Trust

Recognizing my patterns and the feelings beneath them was only the first step. Building self-trust and honouring my needs has required intentional practices and continuous self-reflection. Here are some of the methods that have been essential on this journey.

My Journey Through Defensive Compensations

Understanding behaviour as a reaction to unmet needs also helped me make sense of what psychologists call “defensive compensations.” These compensations—shutting down, dissociating, or emotionally distancing myself—served as protective mechanisms to guard against the overwhelming vulnerability I experienced as a child. For years, these behaviours played out in subtle ways, like shutting down during moments of conflict, avoiding deep conversations that felt emotionally risky, and clinging to self-imposed excuses and blocks that became my shield against the fear of truly being seen.

Practical Steps to Connect With Feelings and Needs

Breaking through deep-seated patterns required practical steps and consistent practice. Here are some of the methods that have helped me create a foundation of trust in myself:

• Mindful Journaling: Journaling became a powerful tool for processing my emotions.

• Somatic Exercises: One of the most revealing exercises was placing my hand on my stomach during moments of doubt.

• Therapeutic Inquiry: Initially, expressing my emotions directly felt foreign.

• Creating a Safe Space for Emotions: Creating this safe space was transformative.

The Liberation of Meeting My Needs

Each moment that I honour a need or allow a feeling to exist without judgment is a small victory that builds trust in myself. This process is far from perfect, with days that feel messy and uncomfortable, but each instance of self-acknowledgment moves me closer to a place of genuine self-respect.

Embracing Individual Healing Paths

Each person’s journey looks different, and the most profound growth often comes from finding what resonates with you in each moment. I’ve learned that healing is not about finding a “one-size-fits-all” solution but about discovering the practices that feel right and real to you, even if they change from day to day. Our behaviours are not flaws to be erased but messages to be understood, each one revealing a path uniquely suited to our truest selves. It’s a slow, often imperfect process, but in embracing each step, I’m finally learning what it means to live with a sense of wholeness and self-acceptance.